Not more than
one a half years ago, I escaped an abusive marriage. I fled over the miles to
find peace, refuge and security. It is by far the bravest thing I have done
besides not giving up on life in the midst of the turmoil of the unrelenting
darkness that surrounded me all those years. Growing up in an environment where
abuse was seen as a norm, I pushed away the warning signs that this
relationship was no good for me. In fact, I blamed myself and thought I
deserved to be treated badly; to be punished for my mistakes. Most often, I
shut the still small voice in my heart that yearned to bring me comfort in
saying that I was not alone.
To deal with the
pain of abuse and rejection I turned into an addict of sorts. It seemed like
this was my only escape from reality. It was the only way to ease the pain of
emotional hurt, negligence and crazy games. For me, it seemed like the only way
to survive and get through another night. Kept away from the counsel of my
family and friends, I had no one I could freely open to with the assurance of
receiving help. I woke up each day with a sense of fear from the nightmares
that stole my sleep almost each night. Sitting in fear all day of what would
happen next, I could hardly ever eat. Even more, I withdrew from people, kept
to myself and drowned in a deep sea of depression accompanied most often by
fantasies of death.
A month after my
2nd attempt to kill myself, I met two wonderful people who became life-changing
friends. With their help, I was able to get away from the abuse and danger and
I soon found solace in a Non-Profit in New Delhi, India called Maitri. Maitri is a humanitarian and developmental organization
that is committed to facilitating citizenship rights, basic services, dignity
and respect for most vulnerable populations. I was lucky to find them since the
support they have given me is beyond what they even promise to do. Today, not
only do I have their help as a domestic violence survivor but am also given the
opportunity to creatively be part of the work they do in bringing care and
support to those in need.
I still struggle
with depression and pangs of anxiety each time I am in a new situation that I
was never allowed to experience before. However, with support from new friends,
community and God, I am able to overcome. It was never easy being in the trauma
of abuse, feeling like my heart weighed so much so that I couldn’t even find
the strength to get out of bed and put my feet on the floor. But even now that
I am far from such pain, it still isn't easy cause my mind is so used to
believing that there is always something to be afraid or hyper vigilant about.
It is still so easy to think that nothing is ever going to be okay after all
that has happened.
However, today I
choose to believe differently. With help and hard work life is hopeful. I urge
you today to be that friend who believes in the story of the one who needs you
to count on. Perhaps, if you don't know what to do, find someone who does. And
if you are the one hiding behind the pain of fear and abuse today, I urge you
to never give up because help is possible.
One in three
women worldwide has been physically or sexually assaulted by a former or
current intimate partner? "Violence against women is a global health
problem of epidemic proportions", says World Health Organization (WHO)
Director General, Dr. Margaret Chan. Recognizing the urgent need to create safe
spaces for women in the public and private spheres, Maitri has taken a
leadership role in launching a Million Signature Campaign called Count On
Me."
Maitri’s goal is to motivate and inspire people
to become part of the movement and the solution to End Violence Against Women. Ending violence against women is necessary to the well-being and
mental health of women/girls and their families, but this cannot materialize
without changing the mindsets that accept violence. This is where YOU come in. You can bring a
change - you can be the change. First, click the link below to sign the Count
On Me Campaign and take your pledge to never commit, allow, or encourage any
form of abuse and to respect all women.
Then, please take a moment to share this pledge with your friends and
family to help us reach the 1 million mark and to also help spread the word and
let those suffering know that there is help and they are not alone.
The movement
starts with YOU!
