Perhaps I should be stronger, braver and more alive than ever before but beneath the surface lies a foreboding of not knowing how I will live up to what I've already bound myself to.. how will I finish this race?
The only hope I know of are ones that I see through the eyes of a dreamer.. of dreams that may never even come to be, gradually channeling thoughts to the glory of eternity.. I draw honor in the fact that I love for a living even though it calls to live in endurance and see courage as I recall having chosen to live in the unfamiliar for the glory of the King. Fighting for breath, I realize I cannot renounce but try to embrace blessings in the land of my suffering.
So I continue to walk this narrow path in loyalty & obedience, pushing the "whys" aside, laying down my rights, finding solace in the truth that I am chosen to fight a great battle for humanity..to endure not as a consequence of sin but as a symbol of favor & ability..
And now I am able to embrace reality like other living martyrs, with faith barely seen, trying to let go..striving to let GOD..