Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Burning Guitar

Passion in my heart that I can't burn out,
Love so deep it runs into the ground,
Love so real I can find no impurity in this sound,
Playing the chords that bring my spirit closer to You,
Singing the songs of Your majesty,
Somehow these words of mine seem to be too few,
Singing these songs as my love to You I renew,
As I play and get lost in these patterns feeling a strange awe,
The sensations of Your presence seems to cover every flaw,
The melodies that play somewhere in my heart,
Playing in simple strums, rivers of grace flow through every part,
Calling out to Your name until these worlds falls apart,
Singing these songs in a fulfilling desire,
As this guitar is burning in Your fire...

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Everyday Warfare

So here's the deal.. Experience changes us.. They transform us into people that we hardly recognize or like. It's like a car accident.. You hurt, you heal, you recover but they never tell you about the repercussions until you get into your car one day and realize you can't turn the key cause your hands are shaking. They never warn you bout the long terms affects that occur within.. the ones that you can't physically see. Experience of various kinds, shapes and sizes confront us bringing pain of different sorts and depth. Yet they teach us, mould us and make us more than we ever were before but more than that, they change us & affect us in a way that we ourselves are not aware of until some day. But don't be ashamed of change even though you find that your unfamiliar with yourself.. for now you are the soldier who has come back home from war, whose face shows strength & courage that speaks of every battle you've fought.

Don't be ashamed of the quiet spirit and hard countenance or the fact that you are now a man of few words. Just know that these are qualities that you can't behold had you never been through warfare.

Sunday, December 6, 2009


so check this out...I bought a few packets of tiny balls that were purple, transparent, grey and blue from India. So here's what you do with them - you put them into a bowl for at least an hour, immersed in water. And after a particular period of time is over, they absorb the water and hence they become the size of marbles. So I was so happy that they worked out fine and everything was going good. But after a few days, I noticed that they were reducing again and not surprisingly, the reason was the water had gone dry. They had nothing to draw moisture, or in much more literal terms, they didn't get the 'food' they needed. I left a few out and they shrank back to their original size - slowly but it happened. And as long as I ensured that they got their water, they remained 'healthy and whole'. So all this got me thinking about spiritual food. And naturally, we can relate. Personally, there are days when I'm just too tired to even pick up my Bible and for a long time (a few months back)....I just didn't read it. The changes weren't sudden. It wasn't like I didn't wake up the next morning (obviously, I did). God didn't pelt me with thunder and heap burning coals upon my head. But eventually, my spirit grew weaker - it had to grow so pathetically weak that I barely could make it past an hour (at the most) without life-threatening thoughts entering my head - for me to notice it (my ignorance is quite note-worthy). I realized I had turned into the insignificant person I was before I knew God. I hadn't died - but I wasn't doing anything to help me fulfill my God-given purpose. I was alive - but insignificantly so. And then began the fattening process (again) - it probably (probably - ha!) hasn't gotten very far but I'm on the road. Somewhere along this road I realized that I could've chosen to stay 'just alive'. I could've existed. I could've given up hope; convinced myself that my spirit was a goner; that God had better things to do. The thing with those ball-y thingies was that even when it returned to its original state - when put in water, it could be restored! It would still take an hour or so to return to its previous splendour but it could. That's when I figured that all the time, we are the one's who give up on grace. We shut the door and believe its gone. God's always there. He's the fountain that never runs dry. The person who puts the ball thingies in the water is our will. The ball thingies is our spirit. Let's not give up. Even if its for the silliest thing possible. Just let God give you His grace. He wants to, you know.


Am i standing
or am i taking a stand?
am i living
or is my living a lie?
i tell myself there's meaning
a reason to want for tomorrow
that the next sun will set
when the day's made some sense
and if it hasn't
it's better to wait till its done
till the stars are gone
are my excuses
nothing more than
a wanting to live?
or do i really believe
in the 'something' greater?
am i stronger
or is my weakness my strength?
am i drowning
or am i learning to breathe?
can i see clearer
or is everything getting closer?
i let myself get lost
in colours, the wondrous lights
i marvel at the flickering images
like paintings on the ocean bed
have i lost my mind
or am i finding it now?
this new sensation
was it meant to be an alien?
am i moving upstream
or is my vision tilted upside down?
it gets harder to make sense
of life anymore
maybe i wasn't meant to;
in this confusion, the running about
i see that the meaning i chased after
was by me, was in me
the 'something' greater unfolded
as my wisdom burnt to ashes