MEET WITH ME

Come lovely Lord, come meet with me
I am desperate to dwell in your presence
I am so desperate to feel your touch
My heart is longing for you.
Hey you... Lover of my soul, come meet with me.
I want to know what your breathe feels like
I want to know what your touch feels like
I want to know what your presence feels like
So please come. Come here and meet with me
I’m waiting. I’m waiting patiently. Arms wide open. Hungry. Desperate.
Please don’t let me down. Please don’t leave me hanging.
Come you gracious one. Come quickly.
My heart is anxious. My heart is seeking.
I'm overwhelmed by your goodness.
I'm swept off my feet by your love.
I'm so hungry. I'm so hungry to know you more.
I've heard of your magnificent beauty. I've heard of your saving grace.
I just want to know it now. I want to experience it for myself.
So come. For all I truly want is more and more of you.

-Anika

.............

Lord, You see my heart
in all it's brokenness
You alone can see
the depth of my pain
You alone see
how hurt I truly am
You alone can feel my sorrow
Before You I am transparent
Before You all my pretenses fall
Before You I come exactly as I am
Before You I fail to be what I am not
And I am overwhelmed by
Your accepting love
I am grateful for Your enduring mercy
I am in awe of Your grace
that covers me despite my flaws
I am thankful for open arms
I can run into
I cannot understand why You love me
but You do and I love You because You do
I don't see in me the worth for which
You paid such a great price
Because of Your unfailing love
I cannot leave You
For without You I am nothing
But with You - I am everything!
Everything I yearn to be - I can be
For even in my weakness
You stay by my side
And You never let go
In You everything fades away
for only in You do I find perfect love

GOD-CHILD

Another’s letdown, gives us no right to do wrong, no excuse to slack or rebel. It gives us no right to purposely loose focus & abandon our purpose. But it does give us the right to be our best and even better than those who have failed us and failed themselves. It gives us a chance to be an example of beauty and goodness, of greatness and virtue. It gives us a moment to shine and prove all else wrong. It gives us the right to be a God child.

LETTER

Lord..
I just want you to know that i love You & that You are everything to me..

QUOTES

Knowing what is right is nothing. Doing what is right matters. Action is everything.

Block out the loud voices and listen for a whisper.

We have a passion for something greater than us, that's how we stay together.

-BONO U2

BEAUTY OF THE UNKNOWN

God is moulding us, teaching us new things through all situations and circumstance for something greater..a greater time than this..a time that is of obvious, present mystery. His plans are good plans..better than ours..by nature, always the best. So until they unravel, we need to be faithful, ever trusting & believe..we just need to be patient & wait upon His perfect time.

He takes us through these deserts so that WHEN we are indeed blessed with what we need and fulfilled with what we once longed for, hoped & dreamed of, we would have great value & gratitude for things..for people & appreciation for freedom..for love & value for all good to come..He takes us through the wilderness, that we may begin to see beauty in the ordinary & great purpose in small things that once just passed us by ..and this value we would never have if we didn't go through the testing and waiting..the times of lack & pain. Perhaps..we wouldn't treat people the way they ought to be treated, neither recieve blessings with the preciousness they deserve to be received with..nor see things from a deeper perspective..one of gratitude and realisation.

And through this time of nothingness, even little is much..small is great and simplicity is beauty. Now, birds depict freedom & clouds symbolize a heavenly realm, our scars resemble stars & God is absolutely alive. Before the desert, perhaps we wouldn't see through so deep: Birds would just be birds and scars would be awaiting transformation. But now we know that beauty lies in what we make of who we are in the reality of what we do not have yet & that depth lies in what has become of our character & heart: one of great reproach, well set, alive..tried & tested..strengthened & taught to appreciate every little thing that deserves appreciation..preparing us to be in awe of every awaited blessing to come.

All along ,we are being prepared for times of refreshing, joy & fulfillment.. for "our" day. As for me.. as I move towards the beauty of the unknown I hold on to hope, faith & peace to get to where I must..never giving up..always moving forward even if the darkness seems never ending or the valley ever deep..I hold on to His love, preparing my heart to fully appreciate my coming promise..my coming day.. whether in this lifetime or Eternal home.

* For Paul..for Jesus and all those who simply live in the hope of the future.

.......

I feel myself fall
Falling through my pitch black pain
I try to hold on
But my fingers keep slipping
Sliding off the meek gripping,
the niches that infested the dark wall
I scream, I cry
My eyes can barely see
the far off light - a tiny dot in the overwhelming distance
Silence engulfs me
I am now surrounded
The familiar voices, the images in my head
taunting, pointing accusing fingers at me
I drown in my guilt, my shame, my ignorance
I try to breathe but I can't find air
I tear at myself, bleeding and desperate
I strive to cry - an outlet for the pain
My screams for help become louder
But they bounce of the walls of my dark prison
The pain doubles, I'm bent in agony
All the while, still falling deeper
deeper into the darkness, my depression
My cries, slowly, fades into feeble moans
and the niches become lesser and smaller
From within my heart
A new cry emerges, a quiet cry that does not escape my lips
It pulls every atom of my being towards one direction - one last cry for help
A moment of absolute quiet seizes me
it engulfs my ears, dimming the voices in my head
In the next breath, the one I fear to be my very last
My soul bursts forth in its cry to its Creator
to take, to hold, to heal
It screams with the last bit of strength
to the God it knows - the Almighty Father
Air rushes through my lungs
bringing my body back to life
My soul is born again, refreshed
Hope is renewed within me
Love is all I can feel
The voices in my head are drowned out by songs of love
The images are blurry and begin to fade into nothingness
All I can say is a single word
The most precious, the most beautiful Name of them all -
Jesus!

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There times in all our lives when we feel like we have no choice but to let go because the pain is unbearable - but i want to remind all of us (including me) that God is faithful - He never breaks His promise! But sometimes, unless we are pushed into a corner, completely abandoned by the world, we won't let Him take over. We need to let Him have full control - it's hard but its not impossible. May God be our absolute and only strength. Love You Father and thank You for some awesome God-people in my life.

- Miriam
Friday, March 13th, '09

MY STORY

Once upon a time there was a sad little girl who felt unwanted. Everyday she searched for somebody who could make her feel loved. She searched everywhere - on the tops of every mountain, in the depths of every ocean, in the quiet of every valley; yet she found no one who ever loved and accepted her. She met people who had easily fooled her into believing that they cared only to leave her alone. She felt miserable and worthless. She wondered why she couldn't find the love she saw shared between others. After months and years of pondering she decided that maybe she didn't deserve love - that she was too wretched to even wish for it. The sad little girl concluded that without love there was no meaning to life and to living and she made her way down to the high cliff that overlooked the deep blue sea. As she took long deep breaths, preparing herself for the final leap, a gentle voice breezed through the calm around her. She turned around hesitantly to face a handsome man with a kind face. He was dressed much differently from her and the others she knew and had the most beautiful smile she had ever seen. Before she knew it, the man ran towards her, arms outstretched and embraced. She was shocked to see tears pouring down his cheeks - tears of joy he explained. She didn't understand what or who or why but she felt her restless, hungry heart grow peaceful within her. It suddenly dawned on her that before her stood all that she had been looking for - somebody who would love her and she could love in return. Within her she felt hope renewed and joy restored. He held His hand out to her, the most beautiful smile graced his face. As she reached out to him she noticed a scar on His palm. Seeing the questioning look in her eyes he simply said - 'A small price to pay to get to you, my love.'
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I thank the Lord for loving me so much and considering my soul to be priceless. I'm so grateful to Him for staying with me through thick and through thin - for never giving up on me even when i had let go. I love You, Father.

THROUGH IT ALL

Even at our hardest moments may they see "You" in us. Through our fears, uncertainties, shame and blame let our lives radiate Your light, Your spirit, Your love.. Through the valleys let our words encourage & in suffering may we yet be able to bless.