Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Forever Faithful

Savoring new found freedom, I strive to walk out of the past and what it made me. Belittled and heavy laden no longer am I. Instead He calls me beloved one, in spite of my reckless guilt and shame. Holding on to the truth that lingers, I fight the lies that I've been told along, gloom that rings loud in my mind and heart. I fight to believe that I am not what they say but what you bespoke over me. In the chaos of my failures and depravity, I still know that I am not forsaken nor given up on. Walking out of the valley, I look to the light in your kind eyes that draws me away from the voices that embitter and I gaze upon the beauty of who you are and what you have done for me.

Most Holy and sovereign , you drew dear to me in my brokenness and drew me out of deep waters and now I am redeemed by your might hands. The hands that sustained me, now delivered me unto liberty and rest. Let your truth capture me and consume every condemnation. Let me believe that I am wanted and known, that I am of worth and a woman after your own heart in spite of my darkness. I plead that my love for you has never been a facade even though my heart and flesh have failed. And Your love kept me standing as I waited for you to come, it picked up my pieces when I broke my life apart, desperate that you would rescue me. You have always been my portion.. the life in my breath, the strength of my heart. Strong tower and my Savior, I could never compare the undeserved favor you show me to what has been given by any other. You are above all.

Help me find myself again, the person you created me to me, the person made in your image. Cast away the dusk of days gone by, the wounding words of those who no longer consider me their own. Redeem the shadows of who I have become to who I should be. Give me a new song. Pardon my falling out for it has been far too deep to be understood by anyone else but me and You. It was all I ever knew.. I never meant to take away. My testimony compromised by my own unintentional actions, I am tried by those holier than I. The storm, too fierce, my strength failed and I was greatly consumed.

Make all things new. Change hearts. Give them your eyes, that they may be merciful too. Make me better, better than I've ever been, let me seek your excellence in all I do and in who I have become. Tired of unsettling comparisons and doubts, I drown in what I only imagine and think I know. Humbly I come before you and hide no frailty but praise the One who saved one who deserved less.

Thank you for knowing me as I am and as I will be. You have always known my heart. Thank you for your loving kindness even when I deserve none. A sum of my mistakes, yet you died for me. You love me even in my sin and you see the pain that brought me here. You see me in ways no other does. It is your merciful perception that caused you to deliver me for no other man would have done so. Even though you are most holy, you chose to save a sinner, while those who have fallen short would never have. How wonderful you are to love me the way you do. How just you are not to over look the hurt caused to me even though I have hurt in return. You have never given up on me though I grew weary to see you come.
Forever faithful you are.

He sent from above, he took me, he drew me out of many waters. He delivered me from my strong enemy, and from them which hated me: for they were too strong for me. They prevented me in the day of my calamity: but the Lord was my stay. He brought me forth also into a large place; he delivered me, because he delighted in me” (Psalms 18:16-19).


pureSunday said...

I needed this today, in this moment. Thank you.

natural beauty said...

i want this day.

Anonymous said...

Beautiful words. You have a beautiful Spirit.

The last verse in Psalms you quoted
is being spoken to our Mother, Wisdom.